The Beginning…

It wasn’t me being brain washed by the men I was dating. It was me being brain washed by the sexual connection. Once I eliminated sex, things started to unveil that I turned a blind eye to. Giving yourself sexually has always been spiritual and the deepest thing I could ever give someone. I finally realized I was giving myself in that way to show my love. To give a man my complete submission through my love… But without first making sure they were worthy, or deserving of my all. Then after the relationship ends it just feels like such a waste of your soul. I lost myself in pursuing something that wasn’t really me. Then you’re back at square one and we all know dating is scary. I decided I didn’t want to date. I wasn’t ready to give myself to anyone but myself. I need to find myself and my purpose before I could ever share my life with someone. I also no longer wanted to give the ultimate spiritual connection and most precious part of me to any man than the man I will marry. It became a no brainer to me that celibacy was the way of life that worked best for me. For my personal desire of a soul mate. For me to gain sexual discipline and a crisp clear judgement on what is good for me and what it not. For me to not look for love or jump into anything that didn’t just naturally happen. I had goals, dreams, things to execute. I wanted to live life fully and vivaciously. To be my best self and the happiest me I could be. To not be narrow minded to where I believed sex would make a man stay or make a man love me. Or fear a man would leave because I choose to not have sex until marriage. I started to unattract men that were scared of marriage or commitment. I started to unattract men that only wanted sex. I started to unattract narrow minded people. I became so much more confident. So comfortable with myself and what I stood for that I could never ever compromise my worth ever again.